fish and sofabeds stink in three days

my den is a rubik’s cube.

my sofabed is that last stupid yellow square that you just can’t figure out how to get to the other eight yellow squares on the far side of the cube.

i used to think that sofabeds were brilliant.  i was wrong.  sofabeds are absurd.

take the heaviest, most expensive piece of furniture you will ever own.  add to it a heavy, expensive mechanism and crappy mattress to make it even heavier and more expensive with marginal added functionality.  take a survey of your limping overnight guests, the four burly male friends who keep helping you move, and your spouse.  then weep in shame.

so.  i need to replace our sofabed.  the mattress is comically uncomfortable, the seat cushions sag into the the folded mattress, and the whole assembly is upholstered in beige microfiber such as you might find in a model home.  in 2003.  in iowa.

was i totally baked when purchasing this thing?  i am baffled.

anyhoo; while the sofabed runs the craigslist hamster wheel, i have five goals to meet in my search for a replacement:

1.  provide comfortable lounge seating.

2.  provide comfortable accommodations to overnight guests.

3.  move easily.

4.  cost <$500.

5.  fit the den’s bright, colorful, modern, casual aesthetic.

in my budgetless fantasy, the lounge seating in this room would be upholstered in warm congac leather – perhaps from restoration hardware.

restoration hardware / $2000

my fantasy fails 2) 3) and 4).  (as do all new sofas.)


west elm / $1300

fails 1) 3) and 4).  probably fails 2) because the sleeper mattress union has negotiated an anti-human vertebrae policy.

can’t even meet 4) with ikea’s version.

ikea / $800

maybe something pre-owned will help me meet the price point.

craigslist detroit / $400ish

price point, yes.  eyeball test, no.  in detroit, craigslist sofas fail 2) 3) and 5).  blame the shortage of transient young professionals with good taste.

not optimistic about craigslist sleeper sofas, either…

craigslist / $300

fails 1) 2) 3) and 5).  if that lumpy thing is worth $300, i will eat my hat.

time to consider other types of furniture.

ikea / $300

futons fail 5).  maybe 1) and 2).  i should probably at this point create a sixth goal:

1.  provide comfortable lounge seating.

2.  provide comfortable accommodations to overnight guests.

3.  move easily.

4.  cost <$500.

5.  fit the den’s bright, colorful, modern, casual aesthetic.

6.  belong in the home of a grownass person rather than a frat house.

chaise loungers fail 2) and 4), but feast your eyes on this: / $750

damned if i wasn’t seriously tempted at this moment by a vision of mottled cowhide against my ocean-deep bluegreen persian rug.

i’m not getting anywhere.

how about a daybed?

daybed1 / $380

not that kind.  hear me out.

a mattress = comfortable sleeping.

a mattress + cushions = comfortable sitting.

a frame + a mattress + cushions = painless moving.

obviously a daybed will meet my first three goals.  but can it fit in my office aesthetic, and can i get it for cheap?

first, elle decor to massage the vision:

sig bergamin / elle decor / april 2011

claiborne swanson frank / elle decor / nov 2011

bright.  colorful.  fresh.  eclectic.  relaxing.  the image is crystalizing for me quickly.

what’s on the market?  west elm has a contemporary interpretation.


west elm / $450

lukewarm.  the last thing i need is another overpriced pile of woodmash made in china.

as i foraged for daybeds through the internet, this copper number kept tugging at my gaze.

wayfair / $330

the silhouette is garbage, but copper!  COPPER!  copper.  i swoon.  copper needs to happen in my home office.

i want a metal frame in straight lines – none of that curly traditional shiz – with a throwback reference to vintage wrought iron detailing for flavor.  then i’ll spray it shiny copper and the universe will rejoice.

pottery barn feels me.

pottery barn / $700

pottery barn / $700

but this thing has to be cheap to leave room in the budget for spraying, mattress, cushions, and linens.  low cost imported knockoffs…?  bueller…?  bueller…? / $130

this is how we do it.


2 thoughts on “fish and sofabeds stink in three days

  1. Pingback: an office goes under the knife for pennies | raging sea. cool eye.

  2. Pingback: a quick daybed thought before we both doze off | laplace tiya

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